I have posted about time wasters here in the past but I think its time to do it again. There are times when more than 50% of my bookings get cancelled again or the persons just don’t show up. Reasons for cancelling tend to be a family crisis, a sudden business trip abroad, sudden illness in the family and of course the car breaks down and the phone don’t work.
Occasionally someone are honest enough to tell me that the reason for cancelling is that they are scared, find it all too intimidating, got cold feet, note sure this is what they really want etc.
So lets have a look at the problem… you contacted me and told me that you have been thinking about spanking for a long time and you really want to try it. You have perhaps been thinking about it for years. You have been scanning trough the internet searching for someone who can give you that red hot bottom you so intensely desire. You stopped by me as I seem “normal” I don’t operate in a dungeon and I don’t wear leather corset and high boots. You decided to take the plunge and you sent me that short note.
Immediately after you sent it, one part of you wish I wouldn’t respond, while the other one knows this must happen, otherwise your life will never feel full. I get back to you quickly and we agree on a date for a first meeting. Your e excited and wish it could happen right away. You email me some details about your fantasies and I say that is fine. I try to assure you that you have no reason to be so scared, as I am actually quite a nice person. I send you detail including directions and a phone number, that you must call to confirm the appointment. You are still excited and want to go trough with this. Its only a few days to the appointment but as the day go by you fear start sneaking back in again.
Suddenly the fantasy is turning into reality! It all seem so scary, you have to travel to an unknown place and you are meeting with a total stranger. You will be exposing your bottom and even more scared your vulnerability. Suddenly your fear takes over and it all seem impossible. You want to forget about it all and you decide to cancel. You are afraid that I might try to convince you, so you decide to tell me you have to go away on a business trip. This way you get time to think it all through one more time and still keep the door open. You want to keep a door open in case you should build up enough courage to try again later. You know deep down that this need you have will not go away. You can bury it for a while but it is only a matter of time before you a back looking at my website and wishing you had taken the first step back then.
I can understand that it is scary to give in to your own desire…because your desire means to give up control and to submit to punishment. I tend to think that you are more afraid of your own feelings than of me. The biggest issue is to accept the part to you who crave submission and punishment. I offer to guide you in a loving but firm way and to help you fulfil your own desires and dreams. You are of course free to leave any time if you don’t like it. I can be strict and even cruel but only for as long as it takes to bring you to the space you long to be in. I will give you the encouragement you need on the way to get there but I cannot help you fulfil your dreams unless you take the first step trough my door. As we all know, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink.